Married Life

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The word “tire” is in retirement for a reason

  by Mark New 5/17/15        www.MarkNewComedy.com     I believe it was the great humorist Will Rogers who once said: “I never met a man I didn’t like.” Well, today’s post has absolutely nothing to do with Will Rogers or his famous quote, but I like Will Rogers and his quote so I thought I…

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NOT SO MACHO MAN

  I like to think of myself as a big, strong and virile guy. After all, I’m 6’3’ tall, I’ve been blessed with broad shoulders and chiseled features (albeit with as many lines as Google maps). I’m also a very hairy man, bushy enough to the point where I could pose for the cover of…

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Metabolism, my worst enemy

  My wife is the versatile cook. She makes a lo-cal meal as easily as one ladened in calories. I don’t know how she decides. My theory is that when she feels anxious I may stray, she whips up a high calorie cuisine to fatten me up to look like I couldn’t get laid in…

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Silver Anniversary Playbook

  My wife and I recently celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary. They’ve been the best 5 years of my life. Seriously though, like anything else in life marriage has it’s ups and downs. We’ve had both good days and bad. We’ve also had good years and bad. But enough about the 5:1 ratio. I am…

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The toilet, my only place of Zen

  The kids are screaming ,it’s loud in the house and I’ve had a long day and just don’t feel like dealing with things. The wife is screaming at the kids to be quiet, I have to get out of this freaking house to regain my sanity but can’t. What is a man to do?…

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Don’t get caught!

  So there you are, spending a lovely Saturday afternoon at the mall with your wife. She dragged you away from the twenty-something home projects you started on and plan to eventually finish. You make the best of the mall day and start to enjoy the time.  As you are walking down the long stretch…

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Married……Again!!!

Let me tell you a little story about a friend of mine. Once, in a terrible marriage, he found his freedom with a divorce, and started to live the wonderful life that he had once envisioned. There were parties every weekend and he was the life of the party most of the time. There were…

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The Shower Caddy

In my house, like most American homes, we have a shower caddy. For those of you who do not know what a shower caddy is, it is the “thingamajig” that goes around the shower head which holds the shampoos, soaps, razors, and douche bottles. Come on you know what I am talking about. Now that…

askthemarriedguy.com    |      2015

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